if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
