I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
