She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize