Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
