are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
