I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
not ubering you a puppy
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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