Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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