come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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