her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
