i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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