You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize