she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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