Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
