Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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