i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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