First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize