Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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