she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
