I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
