I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
