And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
