If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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