Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize