im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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