i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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