Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
