Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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