Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
