apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
