Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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