Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
