Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
