Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
