I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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