this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
