I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
