Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
