Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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