I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
