physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
