I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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