I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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