I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
