Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Can I color on your dick again?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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