Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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