what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
