we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize