you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she smelled like a LAN party
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
