He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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