The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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