those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
