fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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