I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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