The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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