Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
