Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
