it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Come share oat with me in your robe
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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