dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Small penises have feelings too.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
being pregnant is like rehab
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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