we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
