dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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