Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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