My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
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