stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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