I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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