What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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