she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize