I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
