It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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