xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
