Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
