Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
