Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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