You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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