so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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