K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
