I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
