Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
