haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
