i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
